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Writer's pictureLouise Smallbone

Appeal the Appealing: Following the Crowds

Updated: Jun 2, 2019

Peer pressure is something everyone at every age experiences, and it’s not something new. Humans like to dare and challenge others, and whilst it can be fun there is also a danger to always listening to what others tell you to do.


Peer pressure is prevalent today more than ever, expect it’s not just your peers - it seems to be society in general. This “societal pressure” means that it can be hard to escape the never-ending cycle of picture perfection. But societal pressure just like peer pressure can make you feel a loss of identity and originality.


Following crowds is so easy, you don’t want to seem like the odd one out, and now it’s not just about public spaces, the pressure has been converted into a private space as well. I very much see my phone and computer as a private space. A place for me to research, message and do things of my own doing, and yet it’s so easy to feel as if those spaces for yourself have been infiltrated with expectations of producing perfection.

People always seem to say “be yourself because everyone else is taken”, or something along those lines, and yet there seems to me to be an incredible amount of cracking under pressure. There seems to be this necessity to put up the most perfect pictures and to present your life as the best it can be. I am guilty of this. I only put up pictures or stories I believe present me having a good and fun time, mostly with other people to not-so-subtly tell others I’m being sociable.


But now I’m starting to question why I feel the need to do this?


I’ve stopped looking at other people’s stories because I really couldn’t care less if you’re playing Articulate and your friend, whom I don’t know and am likely to never know, is in a fit of non-stop laughter. As brutal as that sounds I’m not in on the joke, or am part of the game so it seems to be irrelevant for me to see this video.


However, I know why we do it, I’ve done it. It’s this sense of belonging, and wanting to keep people in the loop - yes I get that, but I’m also slightly baffled that people have become so open to share particular things with a wide range of people all the time. Now I want to be clear, I am as much to blame for this trend of doing what everyone is doing, but when I step out I realize that it’s not very interesting and I only want to do it to compete with others who seem to be doing it as well.


I don’t post selfies or drunk videos, not because I don’t think I’m good enough or it quite captures the moment right, but because if people want to get to know me, they are going to know me. Not my Instagram.


I am making a conscious decision to think about what I post more, and even stop myself from posting because the majority of the time I post so I can get likes, and so people know I’m there and because there is a certain “expectation” to be active on social media. Of course, it’s lovely to see what other people are up to but there is also this side of social media that feels like a shackle. Like you have to do what others are doing, because if you’re not: what the hell?


There is no cure to peer pressure, or succumbing to conventions, but it’s not impossible to try and get away from the seemingly endless pressure. Amazingly and as silly as this sounds: there really is no expectation of you to post or be a certain way. There are no laws stating that you have to do such things.


Also, at the end of the day memories don’t come from a caption, they come from a feeling. And memories aren’t always good ones. In fact some of the best memories I’ve had are the ones where I’ve been challenged, or at my lowest point. Why? Because every time I think back and remember I see how far I’ve come, and I can grow from them, and learn how to pick myself up again when I’m feeling down.


But these memories, I’m not going to advertise because they are personal, and actually in a world where nothing seems personal, being private about some things is really healthy.

I do realize I am making a generalization, but I do believe that there is some form of truth with what I am saying. There are ways to not always conform and whilst it can take guts and even strength to do so, it is not impossible. I know the temptation of wanting to put up pictures, or even just stay up to date with social media, but when you look back ten years from now I don’t know about you but I want to look back and know that not only was I my own person but I was living in the moment, experiencing and taking in everything around me as much as I possibly could.

Note: This series is not here to criticize social media or those who use it, but rather hope to provide those who want to change their lifestyle or lessen their time on social media with ways in which to do so.

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