Fear of missing out. Or as the majority of people call it: FOMO. It's one of the most dangerous acronyms in my opinion. By making FOMO a thing, society has managed to create this idea that there should always be something you should feel guilty about. FOMO encourages loneliness when not doing something with others or being with others. I don't know how many times I can stress this but alone time and being on your own is not only something everyone experiences but is also very healthy.
I currently only have Facebook and Whatsapp as my social media platforms and I use both of them mainly to communicate with others. Facebook in fact is a very useful site that allows lots of events to go up and allows people to promote good causes, discussions and even plan lots of social dates. In that sense I do find Facebook a useful tool, and therefore deleting it would be a detriment to my social life at university. I am very fortunate that there are always lots of events that are promoted on Facebook, but it can also be slightly overwhelming too. I more often that not, do not go to the events set up and/or avoid events due to a crowd I am not comfortable with or know that the event will be based on drinking which I am not a massive fan of. But I know that these events are going on, I see the notifications and I remember that they are going on, and somehow if I'm not there I am supposed to feel a sense of FOMO.
I will admit, originally, I did and sometimes do still feel "FOMO" if I can't make or don't go to an event. I guess it is part of human nature to always want to be in the know, but I also value my down time. Or even just time to cook and get a good meal into me rather than eating snacks and rubbish food. Yes, I prioritize food and sleep and doing things the next day a lot of the time, and for a lot of people they probably won't understand that and that's fine. However, I've learnt that time spent away from big crowds, time to clear your head and time to just breathe among the storm is a really beneficial exercise.
I'm bringing in my faith to this, but if we are looking for a figure who more than anyone was someone who loved people, loved spending time with people and dedicated his life to others then Jesus is the perfect figure. He was if you like, the epitome of a people person. And despite being a celebrity type figure and being with hundreds of people every single day there were two things that he prove how beneficial it is to take a step back sometimes.
Although Jesus had 12 disciples, there were four disciples who were in his inner circle: Peter, Andrew, James and John. A recent study shows that the average person has three to five close friends. Jesus had four close friends. True friends. Now this isn't saying that Jesus preferred or loved Peter, Andrew, James and John more than anyone else but rather shows the human necessity to have a smaller inner circle of friends, because Jesus was fully human, just as he was fully God.
Also, Jesus had a lot of alone time. There are several times in the Gospels that state that Jesus was praying, and his prayer was private with him and God only. We can look at him in the Garden of Gethsemane (Luke 44, Mark 14, Matthew 26, John 17) and see that Jesus at that moment in time needed time away from other people.
Therefore, if we take the figure of Jesus who had a small group of intimate friends and alone time whilst also being among a lot of other people, this shows that there is a necessity to take a step back from crowds.
Alone time or being in a smaller group setting allows you to be comfortably yourself, and can allow you to understand what you want to get out of life. Being in a big crowd all the time can numb your sense of self-awareness and promotes this idea of living for the masses. In a sense you become a product or a miniature version of a group, rather than being you.
Having time to be with close friends or by yourself doesn't equate to FOMO. In fact if we spin this other way round, how much are you missing out if you do not know yourself and are always being what that crowd expects you to be?
Undoubtedly there will be points where you will feel lonely, and to be honest I'm not quite sure how to end this post other than to sum up the main points I have made.
1. FOMO is societal creation. It assumes a feeling of guilt and loneliness for not constantly being with people or going to things.
2. FOMO devalues the importance of alone time and/or time with a small group of friends.
3. Getting over FOMO is mind over matter. Understand and take note of what you value in life.
And lastly, for those who post pictures and videos that scream to the viewer: bet you're feeling FOMO. Well that says a lot more about the person posting the picture or video, because if you are more concerned with not feeling FOMO and have to prove this by images, statuses and videos then it might be an indication that in fact you are the one struggling with FOMO, not others.
Comments